Essentially I think of my digital identity as an online diary. Whatever I share online whether it be my email, product review, thoughts on a government bill, etc., what would I want people to see and am I ok with what they think of me after they read my thoughts?
I never placed much thought in the early 2000’s as I navigated the unexplored world of the internet. You know how all those try not to cringe videos are all the rage right now well I try not to cringe every time Facebook notifies me that I have a memory to look back on that day. Any status update prior to me being married and having kids has the potential to make me cringe. What was I thinking when I thought people wanted to see my fantasy football waiver wire pickup or having the stomach flu?!?!?
I find myself lately really debating how much to share about my family, asking myself why I am sharing bits of information about my family, or whether or not to get involved in a twitter fight with a random stranger that doesn’t have a regular profile pic or live in our province.
What I have used as my mantra for the last decade about my online digital identity is that if I wouldn’t put it on a bulletin board outside my classroom on parent/teacher interview night then I shouldn’t put it online. This mantra has served me well over the last decade and saved me countless hours of wasted time arguing with trolls from out of province.
Who Knows Me Best?
Matt’s blog post this week really made me think about the question: does google know me better than I know myself? I think it does if you look at my credit card purchases! Google/Facebook have recently been finding creative ways to alleviate my bank account of any additional funds. I have always had a bit of a problem when it came to impulse buys in stores and now with online shopping I find it incredibly hard to control my impulse buying when every ad seems to be something I want.
Here’s hoping the silent basketball I bought off of a Facebook ad really is silent.
The Key To Parenting Is Don’t Overthink It. Because Overthinking Leads To … What Were We Talking About?
The last thing I want to write about is how am I setting my own kids up for success or failure in the future? I watched this video recently from a talk show in Australia. I am a sharenter (parent who shares too much) when it comes to posting about my kids. But recently I have been asking myself should I post this image. I am going to use the embarrassment test they talk about in the video when it comes to posting in the future: the 3 C’s (content of the photo, comments you add about the photo, and coverage of who will see it). I need to ask myself: would my kids want others to own this image of them?
So back to my original question in the title of my post: am I cool with everyone reading my diary? The answer is I am. But I have also been answering that question for my own kids and I don’t think that is fair to them.
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I like the question: does google know me better than I know myself? It makes me ponder that Google knows a lot more about me than I probably think it does. Google know what kind of video game I like, what kind of phone I use. Google isn’t a search company anymore, they’re a tracking company. It’s creep that even when I talk with my husband what kind of cat food we would like to purchase, and then Google pushes the ad of this cat food to me. All of these data points allow Google to build a pretty robust profile about myself.
Echo
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I have this inherent bias where I believe that everyone else is blindly following the whims of the algorithm, but somehow I am immune to the noise and live completely free of influence. Then today I saw an advertisement for hamburgers and went to the store and bought a dozen. This was in the car I initially saw on a Facebook ad from a local dealership. I then usually end the evening watching a movie on a streaming service from a suggested list. Honestly a lot of my identity online is being selected for me based on what I’ve done in the past. Despite my belief that I am the true master of my destiny I know that I am just like most people – being given the illusion of choice without seeing the hand pulling the levers.
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Very interesting framing, Curtis. Especially your use of the concept of a “diary”. When we traditionally think of a diary we of course think of a secretive, deeply personal log that is specifically for “your eyes only”. However when applied to social media, it feels as if when the secrecy of a diary entry is removed, it becomes much more of a performative piece of expression that may be inauthentic. At least I know that’s true of me. I know that sharing a thought online vs. in a personal journal or notebook means I have two very different audiences, and my messaging is therefore inherently going to be affected.
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Great post – I agree with many of the sentiments you make here! I really like the idea of the 3 C’s as a filter when posting about my children. I have posted way less pictures with my second than I did with my first and I think it is less about him being the second child and more about me not being more conscious about what I post in general. I am also a bit of a sucker for the ads on social media. The one thing I love about Tik Tok is that people are out there saving me money by posting videos about all the best dupes there are (prime example of girl math)! Make sure to update us on the silent basketball when it arrives. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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